The Trapped Feeling of Assault

I doodled this in my teens in a state of panic and I wanted to share it because working on strategies to manage my panic has been a difficult work in progress ever since.

In my late teens I was assaulted on the tube and ever since I have battled with the automatic trapped-prey panic when any man stares at me too long on the London Underground. I’m pretty sure I’d like to make some art specific to that at some point but it’s still a little too raw to do so. So here is some art from a time when panic ruled me much more strongly.

The inception of 'It Is My Body'

This weekend at a lovely kink club in London, a man decided to touch me once without my permission and then once again after I had already said no. Not only did he cause one of the worst panic attacks of my life, he made me fear dressing the way I want to. He made the outfit feel dirty.

I am so sick and tired of being harassed and assaulted by men that believe they are entitled to my body in some way, regardless of my feelings. I’m sick of being triggered by people who see my curves as permission to treat me as less than human. I am a person and it is my body.

So today I put the outfit back on. With the help of a wonderful friend and badass woman Laura Boulter, I made this ‘fuck you’ post for my new Instagram - ItIsMyBody.

‘It Is My Body’ I will celebrate my body and my ownership over it. With thanks to the badasses who supported me this weekend and the wicked staff at the club that dealt with the guy.